


Meddling

by TenSpencerRiedPlease



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Aunt Peggy Carter, BAMF Peggy Carter, Based on a Tumblr Post, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Steve Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers Feels, Tony Being Tony, Tony Feels, dating apps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenSpencerRiedPlease/pseuds/TenSpencerRiedPlease
Summary: Steve, if you asked him, was sort of old fashioned but Sam and Bucky decided that a year after his relationship with Peggy ended he needed to get back to dating. Truthfully Steve was fine by himself, and he absolutely didnotwant anything to do with the hookup apps Bucky and Sam basically shoved at him, but in the end he didn’t actually end up minding his friends pushing him into using the apps because that’s how he met Tony.Based offthisprompt.





	Meddling

**Author's Note:**

> For reference in regards to ages- Howard Stark would be the oldest, but Peggy is a little older than Steve, who is the same age as Bucky and in his early forties, and Tony is in his late twenties. Technically the ages got all wonky to make this work the way it did but that's basically how it panned out.
> 
> Anyways yeah, I don't know what this is but I liked the prompt so I wrote it!

Steve, if you asked him, was sort of old fashioned but Sam and Bucky decided that a year after his relationship with Peggy ended he needed to get back to dating. Truthfully Steve was fine by himself, and he absolutely did _not_ want anything to do with the hookup apps Bucky and Sam basically shoved at him but in the end Peggy thinking the whole thing was funny was what landed him a profile on Tinder. Then because Bucky decided it was also time to embrace his bisexuality he ended up on Grindr too. Steve was convinced that Bucky’s reasoning had everything to do with him finding Steve’s bumbling with the apps hilarious, not that he’s never actually dated a guy despite his sexuality.

In the end he didn’t actually end up minding his friends pushing him into using apps he had no real interest in because that’s how he met Tony. Tony might have been quite a bit younger than him but he was interesting, lively, brash, honest, and more than a little reckless. Steve knew that he’d been in a slump for a long time and Sam and Bucky incorrectly thought it was his breakup with Peggy that made him that way but it wasn’t. He just… wasn’t happy. He didn’t know why he wasn’t happy, there was no real defining moment when he realized that he didn’t find his life fulfilling at all, it just happened, but when he spent time with Tony he felt… it wasn’t happy per se but he felt more alive than usual. It helped that Tony practically radiated energy and for once it wasn’t the kind that exhausted Steve. Tony was just fun to be around and he made Steve laugh- it was the sort of comfortable relationship he wanted despite the age difference.

The last thing he expects out of the whole ordeal is Peggy.

*

“Hey old man, how do you like your coffee?” Tony asks and Steve rolls his eyes fondly. One comment about how he didn’t really like technology, something Tony found personally offensive as an engineer and inventor, and now Tony called him old all the time. Tony had been happy to discover that Steve’s dislike of technology was personal preference, not a fear of advancement or a strange vendetta against young people for preferring phones to their racist relatives, but he still liked to poke fun at Steve for his opinion. He just liked paper- to him it was easier even if Tony had about five hundred arguments, and that probably wasn’t an exaggeration, for why he was wrong.

“Black, and I’m not even that old,” he says though given Tony’s age he probably was pretty old. Thirteen years made a huge difference, not that it seemed to bother Tony any.

“You’re practically dust,” Tony says and Steve snorts loudly, shaking his head. “And your coffee preferences are disgusting. The only way to drink coffee is with like seventeen sugars in there. I can’t believe you basically drink death. Probably contributes to your dustiness.”

Steve laughs, “dust really? I suppose next time you go to smack my ass you might want to wear one of those drywall masks. Also you have no place to judge my coffee habits when you’re drinking coffee flavored syrup- _that’s_ disgusting.” Bucky liked his coffee the same way and Sam agreed that his boyfriend was an atrocious creature who was offensive to coffee.

Tony lets out a sharp laugh at Steve’s mask comment, “yeah, I’ll pick some up. And your nasty coffee that, by the way, tastes much better as a syrup. Just saying. Anyways I’ll see you soon, yeah?” he asks and Steve smiles again.

“Yeah,” he says, genuinely looking forward to it. It was rare he looked forward to things these days but his time spent with Tony never really felt tedious and forced like it did with almost everyone else. The exception was Bucky, but they’ve known each other for as far back as they could remember- it made sense than they understood each other completely when they’ve been inseparable since they were kids. With Tony it was something different though, something that was build on passion instead of a lifelong understanding of how the other works. It felt nice, having passion around for a change.

Tony still takes a good half an hour to show up to his house but in the meantime Steve manages to get his paperwork done for Phil so the man would stop complaining and sending Peggy after him. He might like Phil as a boss but his insistence on paperwork being done in ridiculous timeframes was forever his downfall- especially because Steve put it off for as long as humanly possible. Filing papers has never been his thing. But when Tony does show up everything that even hinted at him, at least technically, being a spy was gone. Tony thought he worked an office job, which was half true if completely inaccurate.

“Here is your disgusting coffee, it offends me,” Tony says as a greeting, handing him his coffee and he drops his bag at the door before immediately wandering into Steve’s living room. Tony’s habit of making himself at home anywhere but both impressive and irritating to Steve, who never really felt at home in any area except one he explicitly lived in. Moving was always hell on him because it took months for him to settle into whatever new place he was in, but Tony didn’t seem to share that issue.

“Says the man who drinks syrup with a dash of coffee,” Steve says and follows Tony into the living room.

“AKA how coffee should be,” Tony tells him, all but throwing himself on the couch and stretching himself out.

Steve would never tell Tony but he was jealous of his ability to be so at ease. Years of spy work made him weary of everything. Once when they were all training a new recruit Natasha had told her that looking over her shoulder had to become second nature, which was true, but it was something that effectively ruined Steve’s ability to truly be at ease. That and his keen ability to detect lies by listening for inaccuracies in what people say. Oddly Tony had few inaccuracies in most anything he said unless it was explicitly a hyperbolic statement, which was basically how Tony talked all the time. Normally Steve found exaggerations annoying but Tony’s weird flare for the dramatic was endearing to him for some reason. Maybe it was Tony’s earnestness in combination with his dramatics that made them feel less grating on his nerves.

“I still think you’re disgusting,” Steve tells him, sitting beside him and making a surprised noise when Tony immediately shoves himself into Steve’s personal space. He wraps an arm around Tony because he secretly enjoyed that someone actually wanted to be physically close to him. It’s been awhile and he missed human touch, and Bucky just wasn’t the same. The man was a cuddler but by now they’d known each other for so long any contact was routine for them, not intimacy.

“Well the feeling is mutual and just know that I am the superior one. Anyways, so on the way here I found this cat and it took me like twenty minutes to get it out from under a car because I thought it was homeless but it turned out that its owner was watching me and laughing his ass off the whole time. Honestly I’m so mad that I missed out on taking this cat home because I looked totally undignified laying on the ground trying to get this cat out from under a car,” Tony says, shaking his head.

Steve can see it easily; Tony on the ground gently cooing at the animal to get it to come closer only to find the cat already had a home. “That explains why you were late,” Steve says. Tony preferred a coffee shop not far from where he lived but he also had a strange tendency to get into weird situations. Like that time in the elevator with that woman in the velvet jumpsuit and cowboy hat. He’s learned that even without random things happening Tony was always a minimum of a half an hour late. If Steve had a time frame he told Tony to be wherever he needed to be an hour early so he’d actually show up on time, but he didn’t tell Tony that because he’d know he actually had an hour to spare and he’d be late again.

“Yesterday I did that with an adorable Jack Russell except it ended with me getting bit by the dog and taking it to a shelter,” he says. If he had the time and didn’t travel so much he would have taken it home, but unfortunately for him he had no time for a dog with his job. He barely had time for a cat not that he had one of those either. He was more of a dog person anyways.

Tony wrinkles his nose, “Jack Russell’s are terrible. Cats are superior,” he says, nose in the air.

“Another thing we disagree on. I like dogs better,” he says.

“Than you’re wrong because cats are the superior creature. They basically train themselves, they’re almost no work, and they don’t crawl up your ass all the time. Or need to be walked every day,” he says.

“Yeah, but cats step in their own poop and they’re _mean_ ,” Steve says. Bucky and Sam had this old longhaired grey cat that tried to eat Bucky’s budgie at least twice a week. Steve was sure Sam secretly wanted the cat to eat the bird because he was bitter that Bucky chose to get a budgie over the falcon he wanted. In Bucky’s defense Sam choosing the falcon was literally only because it was named ‘Red Wing’ and Sam thought that was cooler than the budgie.

“Okay Steven King wrote a whole book on what happens when dogs go bad so shush. And dogs totally step in their own poop too, plus they slobber on everything. Just saying cats might be assholes sometimes but they’re way better than dogs. Also once this gigantic Rottweiler almost ate me and now I’m not fond of dogs,” Tony says.

Ah, well that explained it. The same thing happened to Bucky when they were kids, which was a shame because Steve liked the breed. They’re pretty dogs and it was a shame shitty owners gave them a bad name. “Once I had a cat ruin my art project in my senior year of high school and I don’t think I ever forgave Mr. Pickles. The cat went off to die in a cornfield when I was eighteen and then the neighborhood got overrun by squirrels. Turns out Mr. Pickles was staving them all off.”

Tony starts laughing, “wow, that was eventful. But almost getting eaten when you were five totally trumps a ruined art project. So, wanna order pizza?” He shakes his head at the sudden conversation change but that’s just how Tony was. He got onto on topic, then switched to another, and then another with no real connection between them.

Actually the first conversation they had started with Tony insulting whom he thought was Picasso by calling his ‘melty clocks’ stupid, but Steve corrected him and told him that was Salvador Dali. Steve knew he shouldn’t have mentioned his passion for art in his Tinder profile but Bucky put it in anyways, and Tony apparently thought this was a good launching point for a conversation. That somehow turned into a conversation about witch trials, which somehow turned into a conversation about how toe socks were the worst invention man has ever come up with. Personally Steve thought the worst invention known to man was edible panties but Tony disagreed on account of toe socks being so uncomfortable he nearly called 911 when he tried one on. Steve had laughed so hard at that he probably grew another ab, which had been unexpected but pleasant.

“Fine, but no pineapples because fruit doesn’t belong on pizza,” Steve says. Bucky was a barbarian who disagreed but always lost to Steve and Sam voting that his taste buds died in war, thus avoiding pineapples on pizza.

“Agreed. Rhodey thinks I’m wrong but Rhodey clearly got dropped on his head as a baby if he thinks pineapple on pizza is good. Please tell me you like pepperonis,” he says.

“Who doesn’t like pepperonis?” he asks.

“Pepper. She thinks they’re gross but I think that if she can eat _kale_ on a regular basis pepperonis aren’t that bad.”

“I like kale,” Steve admits and Tony wrinkles his nose at him.

“You’ve been working that office job too long, honey, it’s gotten to your head,” Tony says, completely unaware of how right he was not that it had anything to do with Steve’s kale preferences.

*

Steve and Natasha generally got paired together because they were a good team, a great team even. But neither of them liked dealing with low-level threats like drug dealers, something they were now stuck with because Phil was annoyed that they handed in their paperwork late.

“How come Clint never gets stuck on these jobs?” she mumbles, looking down through the skylight at the people they were about to bust. Steve was automatically counting guns, people, and the distance between the two. They’d have to move fast if they didn’t want to be the latest victims of the war on drugs, not that that was an issue for him or Natasha.

“Because he life-hacked Phil with blow jobs,” Steve tells her.

Nat whips around to face him, “seriously?” she asks.

He frowns, “you didn’t know?” Usually she knew everything, sometimes before everyone else too. “Well yeah, they’ve been a thing for about a year, which is probably good for Clint considering his bad habit of never actually doing his paperwork.”

Natasha swears under her breath, “why didn’t I think of that?” she mumbles.

“Probably too concerned with getting into Wanda’s pants,” Steve says and Natasha snorts.

“Yeah, true. In my defense it actually took a half an hour,” she says. Steve raises an eyebrow because that was a true record for Natasha, who usually had people in bed in a matter or minutes or less. “Yeah, she’s not good at picking up flirting but I figured it out- oh shit, is that our guy? Or is it the other guy?” she asks, looking back through the skylight.

Steve follows her gaze and squints, “I honestly have no idea. Did Phil send pictures?” he asks. Natasha rolls her eyes and takes out her phone, scrolling through her messages back and forth with Phil.

“Ha, this guy looks a lot like you,” she says, turning the phone to him. Actually yeah, their guy _did_ look a lot like him. “I’ve got an idea,” Natasha says and Steve sighs, knowing he was about to do something that was probably stupid.

Thirty minutes later he’s got a split lip and he’s tied to a chair while his lookalike tries to interrogate him. Steve had to admit for someone who was supposed to be high ranking in the drug business he wasn’t very intimidating or very good at interrogation techniques. He hadn’t been pleased when Steve gave him tips, which was how he ended up with a split lip.

This is, of course, when Tony chooses to call. “Who the hell is this?” Lookalike asks. Steve’s phone vibrates again, showing a picture of some random design Tony was working on as his caller ID picture.

“Telemarketer,” Steve lies. This gets him hit again and Natasha shakes her head at them. She also had a split lip and a small cut on her left eyebrow that she proudly informed their current captors would make for a badass scar.

“What the fuck even is this thing?” Lookalike asks, looking at Tony’s design.

“It’s a doomsday device, obviously,” Steve says sarcastically.

“You’re really testing my fucking patience,” Lookalike tells him.

Steve rolls his eyes, “whatever man, Natasha can we just go now? We’ve gotten everything we need,” he says.

This obviously confuses everyone in the room but on Natasha’s signal they both throw themselves backwards, breaking the chairs they were in, making the ropes that tied them in place useless now. In the defense of their captors they had no idea they had captured two experienced spies who were adept at getting information while playing like they were at the mercy of whoever was holding them. All in all things go off mostly without a hitch- Natasha almost got shot in the ass, and Steve just about lost his head, but they managed to do what they came to do.

Tony calls back as Natasha calls Phil so they could get picked up. “Hey,” Steve says, stepping away from anyone that might overhear their conversation and pass it off to someone with more talent at being a danger than they were.

“Hey, where are you? Sounds weirdly echo-y on your end,” Tony says.

That was because he was in a hallway in what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse turned drug storage facility. But he couldn’t tell Tony that. “Uh, yeah, I’m in the bathroom at work,” he lies. It seemed plausible, at least until Tony points out that it’s three a.m. Well, shit. That was a rookie mistake that Natasha wasn’t going to be pleased to hear about. “I uh, ended up staying late- some bullshit merger thing and I have like a shit ton of paperwork to do,” he lies again. That at least sounded real. Spy work- otherwise known as becoming a highly convincing liar not that Tony seemed to fall for it, but he didn’t call Steve on it either. “So uh, why are you calling at three in the morning?” he asks. Even for Tony that was strange, though he didn’t seem to sleep often.

“Uh,” Tony says and Steve knows immediately the call was for a stupid reason and he laughs. “Wow, cool, you’re already reacting much better than Rhodey did. Did you know that pineapples don’t grow on trees because I feel _betrayed_ by the world right now. They grow out of the ground!”

Steve starts laughing hard though whether it’s out of the absurdity of Tony’s call or a belated reaction to his earlier adrenaline rush he had no idea. “Yeah, I already knew that Tony,” he wheezes out.

Tony makes an annoyed noise, “fine then. But you probably don’t know how brussels sprouts grow,” he says and Steve starts laughing again because he sounded like a fucking click bait article.

*

Rhodey gives Tony a very serious look. “I told you this was a bad idea from the start, Hope, tell him I told him it was a bad idea from the start,” he says and Hope rolls her eyes.

“He did but he didn’t see the pictures,” she says.

“See?” Tony says, leaning back in his seat, “she gets it.” So yeah, Steve was obviously lying about something, or more likely lots of stuff considering Tony has noticed a lot of inconsistencies, mostly around his job, but that probably just meant he was a criminal for a living and Tony was fine with that. He didn’t give a shit _what_ Steve did for a living looking that hot.

Rhodey rolls his eyes and looks at Pepper, “tell him that just because someone is hot doesn’t mean its okay to put up with them obviously lying to you,” he says.

Pepper leans forward, “how hot is he, exactly?” she asks.

Rhodey looks downright betrayed but Tony grins, happy that Pepper pulled through for him. He pulls out his phone and finds a picture of Steve, showing it to her. Her eyebrows hit her hairline immediately and she nods, “I’d climb that like a tree, I can see why you’d deal with the lies.”

“You should see his ass,” Tony says, making a pleased noise that Hope laughs at. Rhodey looks between the three of them and shakes his head.

“White people,” he says, obviously lost on what to do.

“I don’t think this is a white people thing this time,” Tony says though Rhodey obviously disagrees from the look on his face.

“Y’all have issues,” he tells them. “Look Tony- seems how Pepper and Hope won’t give you proper advice I will. If you think he’s lying to you about stuff than get the hell out of there before it gets serious. If he’s lying to you about stupid stuff like his job than he’ll lie about more serious things than that,” he says.

Tony didn’t disagree, but also Steve was _hot_ , not to mention weirdly willing to deal with his bizarre personality. He wasn’t about to find another one of those anytime soon. “Okay, the lies about his job probably means he’s a drug dealer or something, I can live with that,” he says.

Rhodey pinches his nose and takes a deep breath, “Tony I love you but you are acting like a god damn idiot right now. I don’t care how hot this guy is, find someone else who doesn’t lie to you.”

“Maybe you should give him context with a picture,” Hope suggests.

“Good point,” Tony says, turning his phone to show Rhodey the same picture he showed Pepper.

Rhodey rolls his eyes, “oh my god, he looks like he models for H&M. Go to a fucking photo shoot and find another one hat looks exactly the same as him.”

“Yeah, but will they be smart and willing to put up with me calling at three a.m to tell them how brussels sprouts grow?” Tony asks. “Lets be real- I’m a lot to handle, I’ll take what I can get and I won the fucking jackpot here.” Hot, actually smart, funny, probably had depression but everyone had flaws, and was maybe a drug dealer but honestly Tony hasn’t cut ties with Howard and he did worse shit on a regular basis so whatever. No big deal. This was about as good as it was going to get with him.

Judging by the look on his friends’ faces- not just Rhodey this time- they disagreed. “Tony…” Hope says and he cuts her off.

“How about we don’t make this weird and accept that I’m right, cool? Cool. I have to go meet Aunt Peggy and you know if I’m late she’ll skin me alive so yeah,” he says somewhat awkwardly before standing up.

“You don’t have to settle,” Rhodey says. “Yeah, you’re weird and you make stupid phone calls at ass o’clock in the morning but that’s who you are. Anyone willing to date you would accept that.”

Tony snorts, “which is no one, might I point out. Even you guys don’t put up with that. So let me live, so Steve is probably like a mob boss or something, I can handle that.” Rhodey, Hope, and Pepper all look like they want to press the issue more but Tony is already all but running out the door to meet Peggy because she really would skin him alive if he was late. That, and he sort of wanted to tell her about Steve even if he’d avoid all the red flags popping up because he had no desire to get Steve _murdered_ by an ex spy. Peggy would do it too, Tony knew she would because she once went after Howard when she got more concrete evidence of his abuse and she won too. Peggy Carter was a scary woman- Tony loved her dearly.

*

Steve is trying to get his stupid paperwork done in an attempt to avoid having Phil crawl up his ass again when Peggy bursts into his office. “So how are those dating apps?” she asks and Steve frowns.

“Huh?” he asks for lack of a better response.

She narrows her eyes at him, “don’t you lie to me, Steve Rogers, I know what you’ve been up to,” she says.

What he’s been ‘up to’? “Peg, I have no idea what you’re talking about, seriously,” he says as earnestly as he could.

Peggy pulls her phone out of her purse in a flurry and all but shoves it up his nose, “you like him? Talk about his ass with Coulson, right?” she says and Steve feels all the blood in his face rush out as he realizes what, against all odds, just happened.

“Peggy, I had no-”

“You’re a master spy,” she hisses, “and it didn’t occur to you that the guy you were dating looked very much like one Howard Stark, shared his son’s name, I _know_ he mentioned an Aunt Peggy to you because he told me about it, and you thought what? That this was a completely unrelated Tony? Don’t play coy with me, what are your intentions with my godson?” she asks.

Steve has faced down terror groups, he’s been in active war zones, he’s done spy work all over the world, he was busy breaking up a drug cartel at the moment with Natasha, but none of that was even remotely as scary as Peggy Carter. He lets out a long, thin squeak in place of words. Peggy continues to glare at him for a long few moments before she straightens out, “if you break his heart, Steve, mark my words you will _pray_ for death after I’m through with you.” she leaves his office and Steve immediately turns to his computer to look up flights to literally any other country but America or Canada- Canada was too close for his liking.

*

“So,” Tony says, awkwardly trying to avoid the gaze of his Aunt Peggy. “You’re a spy. That explains all the weird inconsistencies in what you were telling me about your job,” he says.

Steve looks surprised, “you noticed those things?” he asks. They were small things mostly, and widely spaced apart. He knew about ever instance because it was generally his job to keep his lies straight but he had difficulties lying to Tony. There was a reason he never dated out of the industry and it was because he disliked lying to his partners. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t efficient at it, small slip ups or no- most people never would have noticed his small lies.

Peggy looks annoyed though, “he’s a genius Steve, you think he wouldn’t notice you lying to him? What else have you lied about?” she asks, immediately jumping into interrogation mode.

“Nothing Peggy, but I can’t go telling people about what I do so yeah, I lied a little,” he says in his own defense.

“Actually quite a bit- I can list every lie if you want, I mean your place of work ended up on three different streets, all blocks away from each other,” he says and Steve frowns because he didn’t remember anything about that. “Oh you look surprised! Aunt Peggy, I’m a better spy than a spy!” he says excitedly. Steve can’t help his smile at Tony’s happiness even if it’s at his own expense.

Peggy gives him a _look_ and shakes her head, “alright, if _Tony_ can pick out your lies before you can when he’s about as observant as an ostrich on LSD you clearly aren’t fit for duty. I’m telling Coulson to put you in therapy,” she says and Steve groans.

“Peggy, that’s not necessary-” he starts but she cuts him off.

“Steve, I have given you time to sort things out on your own and while Tony’s presence in your life is clearly helping this child took _seventeen years_ to notice I was left handed and he caught you in several lies. I can’t imagine what someone who is actually looking for inconsistencies would find,” she says. “So I’m telling Coulson to deal with whatever it is that’s going on in your head and throwing you off. That is final.” Steve doesn’t say anything because technically Peggy is his boss and also because this meeting with her and Tony was only taking place because she intercepted him attempting to flee to Germany so he figured it was best not to press his luck.

“In my defense I actually was looking for lies,” Tony says, “I mean I don’t really have a great dating history,” he points out. Steve already knew that even before Tony had alluded to it some time ago- he knew the signs- but Peggy clearly knows more about his history because her face softens for a half a second before she goes back to glaring at Steve.

“You still need therapy and I’m going to tell Coulson so. And Tony, I can’t possibly advocate for this relationship but it’s more for personal reasons than thinking Steve isn’t a good match for you. You _do_ know we dated for almost six years, right?” she asks, looking pained. Steve, who hadn’t considered this, now looks at Tony with the same horrific realization Tony was having.

“Your dick has been inside my Aunt Peggy,” Tony whispers, horrified.

Steve sighs and pinches his nose, “that’s… not relevant,” he says.

“It is _so_ relevant,” Tony says, eyes wide as he stares off into the distance.

Peggy smiles and Steve narrows his eyes, “you did this on purpose!” he accuses.

She doesn’t even deny it, she just shrugs. “I’m a master spy and manipulator, you think I wouldn’t find a way to break the two of you up? Tony, he’s too old for you. You should try your luck with Rhodey, he’s a nice boy and he’s more age appropriate,” she says. Steve stares at her in shock in part because this wasn’t usually the sort of thing Peggy did but also because she clearly had an agenda behind this too.

Tony sighs, “Peggy, I’ve told you like a million times that Rhodey is straight,” he says. This conversation has happened _multiple times_? Steve was going to infiltrate her next relationship just to be a dick.

“So is spaghetti until you boil it,” she tells him.

“Are you… suggesting that I should _boil_ Rhodey?” he asks and Steve starts laughing because Peggy’s meaning went right over his head.

Peggy rolls her eyes, “no Tony, I’m suggesting you use that famous Stark charm to get him to admit to his damn bisexuality- you already had a practice run with Steve and managed, now get to work on Rhodey. You two should have been married by now, it’s legal so you have no excuse,” she tells him.

Tony looks downright confused but Peggy leaves him _and_ Steve with that. So,” Tony says after a few beats of silence. “I’m sure the sex thing was like… one time, it’s not that weird.”

Steve sighs, “in the interest of not having Peggy tell you everything anyways we had a pretty wild sex life,” he says.

Tony looks like Steve imagined he would if he was wearing toe socks given how much he hated them. He looks Steve up and down and sighs, “fuck it being weird, you grew a beard and your hair is a little longer and I swear that made you go from a twelve to a twenty two on a scale of ten. And Rhodey is definitely straight, don’t tell Aunt Peggy but we slept together once and it didn’t work out so well. I mean the sex itself was nice but Rhodey is definitely straight.”

“Peggy knows that,” Steve says because she absolutely would, “but Bucky and I did the same thing and now he’s married to a guy despite claiming straightness so she’s clearly holding out hope.” And it was _Steve_ that hadn’t come to terms with his bisexuality- _ha_ \- that was just Bucky projecting. Steve never internalized any of the shitty messages around queer folks they got as kids because he never bought into the counter argument of straightness being natural to buy gayness being unnatural. Bucky had though, so it took time for him to grow out of it and most of that was due to Steve pointing out how stupid, unjust, and oppressive the treatment of gay people was. And then telling Bucky he was bisexual.

“Well I’m not holding out on Rhodey and I’m going to invent a device that scrubs the memory of Aunt Peggy telling me you two dated out of my brain so it won’t be weird. Sound good?” he asks And Steve shakes his head.

“Only you,” he says in way of an actual answer, but Tony gets what he means anyways.

**Author's Note:**

> [My writing Tumblr](https://tenspencerriedplease.tumblr.com/)


End file.
